


i cannot give you up

by lightningcanary



Category: Blindspot (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 07:38:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14159937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightningcanary/pseuds/lightningcanary
Summary: It's Reade and Meg's wedding and Patterson misses her best friend.





	i cannot give you up

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote most of this before watching yesterday's episode.

They are married.

Reade and Meg are married. And while Patterson is happy for them, she also can't stop thinking about Tasha. And she hates it.

She hates it because she wants to be mad at Tasha. She should be mad at Tasha. But the truth is that she misses her. She misses her so much. And with some perspective, she understands that Tasha had to do what she did. It hurts but she understands and all she wants is her best friend back. Her best friend that she likes and that will never like her back because she likes her other best friend who just got married.

She finds her outside, in the balcony of the saloon where they are celebrating the wedding reception. She's leaning on the railing, holding a drink in hand and looking at the city and the dark night's sky.

Brianna is there too. "Leave me alone, Bri," Tasha tells her. Her voice sounds rough, like she's either cried or on the verge of tears. It breaks Patterson's heart.

"No, Tash. I'm not gonna go when you're like this," Brianna says.

Tasha groans. "Just go away!"

Brianna is about to reply when Patterson decides to intervene. "It's okay, Brianna. Go have fun," she tells the girl. Brianna looks at her, accepts the offer and goes back inside. But neither of them notices. Because the moment Patterson talked, Tasha turned around to confirm it was her and their full attention has been on each other since. Patterson is looking at Tasha with a sad expression, knowing the brunette is hurting and there's nothing she - or anyone - can do to fix it, while Tasha looks at her surprised and slightly hopeful.

And then the tears start to fall. Patterson in front of Tasha in no time and wraps her arms around her. The moment she's hugging her, Patterson feels a warmth, a safety, she hasn't felt in weeks. Tasha holds her waist tightly as she cries over her shoulder. "Hey, hey..." Patterson whispers in her ear, followed by a kiss on her temple and a stroke on her back. "It's okay. I know it hurts now, but it'll be okay, I promise."

"I'm not crying because of him," Tasha sniffs, the sound of her voice muffled by her shoulder.

"What do you mean?" Patterson frowns.

They break the hug. Tasha's hands keep a hold on the ends of Patterson's jacket while Patterson brushes off a few tears from her cheeks. "I knew he was getting married, I'm okay with it now. I haven't even thought about it in the last few weeks..."

"Then what's going on?" Patterson asks.

Tasha takes a few seconds to answer, her eyes pleading. "I..." She clears her throat. "I just... I love you. I love you so much. And you being here... I don't-- I don't deserve it. You have every right to be mad at me. Because I broke your trust, I lied to you. But I miss you and I'm so sorry. If... If i could, I would change what I did." Patterson shakes her head. "I would!"

"No! You did what you had to do. And that way you could make sure he didn't get near me."

"I should have told you."

"Yeah... But I understand why you didn't."

"Stop making up excuses for me! You were right."

"Well, I forgive you!" Patterson exclaims. "You're my best friend. And if you hadn't done what you did, you wouldn't be you. And I miss you too."

\---

They spend the rest of the wedding together. Dancing together, sitting together, talking together, dancing some more, drinking together, and dancing. And each time, getting closer and closer. To the point where they are not dancing anymore, they are just embracing each other in the middle of the dance floor and swaying slowly.

Well, Patterson is swaying and Tasha is letting her move her around. Patterson is pretty sure she's falling asleep. Her head is on her shoulder and her breathing is even. She can't see her eyes but she's sure they are not fully opened.

It makes Patterson smile. She has her best friend back and it's not weird and she's so adorable and, sure, it's not perfect and it still hurts a little but right now Patterson just knows that she's still in love with her and she just can't keep it in any longer. "I love you," she whispers.

Tasha moves her head off Patterson's shoulder, and sets a kiss on her jaw, but it's sloppy so it was probably meant to be on the cheek. Patterson's smile softens. "I love you too."

Patterson puts her hands down Tasha's arms to her waist, pushing her slightly away to look at her. "Tash..."

Tasha looks up at her with a small soft and drunk smile and Patterson's words vanish from her brain. Her gaze falls on the brunette's lips and when she looks up, she sees that Tasha's did the same, so she just puts her left hand on Tasha's chin and slowly leans into a kiss. She's sure Tasha will stop her or will break the kiss, but when she doesn't and instead kisses her back, she wraps her arms around her neck and deepens the kiss.

She doesn't know what's gonna happen the next day, but for now she's the happiest woman in the world. (Yes, she knows Meg just got married.)

\---

Tasha wakes up to the sun sneaking into the room through the blinds. Her head hurts. A lot. She groans and rubs her temple before covering her eyes with her hands.

Suddenly, she feels something move behind her and that's when she realises there's an arm around her waist. Someone is spooning her. She's the small spoon?!?

She opens her eyes slowly, frowning at the light, and turns her head to look at whoever is behind her. It's... Patterson?? The woman wasn't talking to her 12 hours before and now she's in her bed? They are clothed but still...

It takes her a while but after a few minutes Tasha starts to remember everything that happened the day before, during the wedding reception. How much she missed her, how the blonde found her and forgave her, how they spent the night dancing, how she kissed her, how she kissed her back, how they left together, how Patterson slammed her against the hotel room's door and kissed her while trying to open it, how the second they lied down they fell asleep.

She fully turns around to avoid the light coming from the window (and to look at Patterson because, man, she looks gorgeous when she sleeps (well, she always does, but damn!)). The blonde stirs and opens her eyes. She smiles. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up," Tasha whispers.

"It's okay," Patterson mumbles, while Tasha brushes her hair behind her ear. Patterson bites her lip. "Morning."

Tasha smiles, a little bit unsure. "Good morning... We should talk."

Patterson pouts. "Do we have to?"

Tasha chuckles. "Yeah... Let me start. What I did was terrible. I betrayed your trust and I hurt you and... And I wish I knew why I couldn't just say no but I don't. I think I told myself that it was the best way to protect you but... You deserved to know. And if I could go back, I would." Patterson opens her mouth to protest, but gets interrupted. "Not... Not to change working with him. To tell you earlier. To not lie to you."

"Yeah, that would have been nice..." Patterson says.

"I'm so--"

"I know. And I understand. And it might take a while but... I can't lose you. I can't lose you because of him, or Roman. Because that'd be letting them win. And because you are the only constant in my life, you're my best friend and... And I'm... I'm in love with you."

Tasha freezes. Sure, she had been kissed, but there was alcohol involved and a party. She didn't expect this. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Patterson looks at her in disbelief. "Why didn't you tell Reade?" she scoffs.

"It's different. He had Meg."

"You told me you liked him, Tash... It's the same... Except... Last night you kissed me back..."

"I do like him... I think. But..." she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "I spent my 7 years at the fbi wanting to kiss you," she chuckles.

"What?"

"From the moment you said that Harry Potter quote... Then you left and I realised that was the best opportunity to move on. And somehow I found myself catching feelings for Reade..."

"And you ask me why I didn't say anything?"

"I thought you were straight!"

"Why?!" Patterson asks, frowning.

"I don't know..." Tasha answers, looking down at the space between them.

"So... Did you manage to move on?"

Tasha looks up. Patterson is watching her carefully. She bites her lip. She moves closer until their noses are touching. "I don't think I could ever get over you," she whispers, before leaning in to close the gap.

Just before their lips touch, Patterson says "Good."


End file.
